


Sleeping with a Friend

by WevyrDove



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Angst, College!AU, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Freshman Year, M/M, No Smut, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 04:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5150036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WevyrDove/pseuds/WevyrDove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel receives his roommate assignment, he expects the worst. On paper, Dean Winchester sounds exactly like the kids who bullied him in high school. His relief upon meeting Dean and finding out that he isn't just another closeminded jock turns to anxiety when he develops a huge crush on his roommate. How can Castiel possibly survive freshman year?</p><p>written for anon tumblr prompt received a month ago: "how about a destiel college roommate AU?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so, apparently i write stuff without smut sometimes. i thought about adding it in, but i didn't feel like it needed it. so sorry for anyone who was looking for smut. i probably will revisit this verse, it's like a trip down memory lane :D except i didn't crush on my roommate, although she became one of my best friends.
> 
> also sorry about starting yet another new verse/story. i wrote this while procrastinating from my dcbb. 
> 
> title comes from Neon Trees' "Sleeping with a Friend"

Castiel was nervous. It was move-in day at Carver College. He was anxious about living away from home, and even more so about living with a stranger. Well, technically he knew a little bit about Dean Winchester. They had added each other on Facebook when they received their roommate assignments. They had even had a brief Skype chat, during which Dean talked about all the stuff he was planning to bring, while Castiel agreed awkwardly, nodding along to everything his future roommate said. At any rate, Castiel didn’t have to worry about a TV, mini-fridge or a toaster oven, although the latter was technically illegal in the dorms.

What Castiel knew was this: Dean Winchester had been captain and MVP on his high school baseball team, he had 1093 friends on Facebook, and he was one of the hottest guys that Castiel had ever laid eyes on. From a photo on Dean’s profile where he was on the beach clad only in his swim trunks, Castiel knew that Dean had a gorgeous, toned body. There were also pictures of Dean posing with several different girls, including a blonde cheerleader that made repeat appearances in the gallery and always seemed to be draped all over him. _Flaming heterosexual_ , Castiel thought. He hoped that Dean wasn’t homophobic; not that he was planning on bringing people back to the room, but Castiel had already had his share of hate in high school. Everyone told him college would be different, but finding out he had been paired up with a popular jock for a roommate made him anxious. He tried hard not to judge Dean based on his Facebook profile and the short conversation they had, but he couldn’t help it. On paper, Dean was exactly like the type of kids that had harassed Castiel in high school.

He walked up the stairs in the dorm building, his box in his arms and his duffel over one shoulder. His dad had offered to come up with him, but Castiel decided to say goodbye at the door. Now he wondered if he should go back and get his dad. It seemed like the dorm was full of parents with their kids, helping them settle in and saying tearful goodbyes. Castiel readjusted the box in his arms and went to room 412.

The door was ajar and Castiel kicked it open wider. The room was smaller than Castiel’s bedroom at home, with painted brick walls. On each side of the room, there was a narrow twin bed frame with a mattress, each with an adjacent particleboard dresser. The only other furniture was two worn wooden desks with mismatched wooden chairs, facing each other in the middle of the room. There were closets on opposite sides of the room, each with a mirror on the closet door. It appeared that Dean had arrived here ahead of him. He wasn’t in the room currently, but there was a pile of boxes on one side of the room, and the aforementioned mini fridge sat by the door. He had claimed the side that included the one window in the room.

Castiel put his one box on top of his bare mattress and sighed. He unshouldered his duffle and placed it beside the box. The room looked depressing and naked without any personal decorations or affects. It reminded Castiel of a jail cell. Not that he actually knew what a jail cell was like. Castiel opened his box and started putting things on his desk.

“So you can visit me anytime, Sammy.” Dean was saying as he walked into the room, trailed by a tall, gangly looking kid.

“Cool, Dean!” The kid replied enthusiastically. He wore an expression of adoration as he spoke to Dean.

They both noticed Castiel and paused. Dean walked over and held out his hand for Castiel to shake.

“Hi Cas!” Dean smiled. “I hope you don’t mind that I took the side with the window. Good to meet you in person finally.”

“Hey, Dean.” Castiel answered. He took Dean’s hand and shook it. Dean’s hand was rough and warm. Castiel hoped he wasn’t blushing. Dean Winchester was even more gorgeous in the flesh. Castiel was mesmerized by his green eyes. And Dean had called him ‘Cas’, which was the nickname his close friends and family used. “No, I don’t mind…”

“Great!” Dean said. “Oh, by the way, this is my little bro, Sammy.”

“You can call me Sam.” Sammy said shyly. He waved from where he stood by the door. Castiel recognized himself in Sam. The kid was a few years younger than Dean, and he seemed awkward and unsure of himself.

 “Hey Sam.” Castiel waved back, and gave him a smile.

“So Cas, did you get lunch yet?” Dean asked. “I was about to go down with Sammy. Lucky we got into a dorm with a dining hall downstairs.”

“Um, no actually, I haven’t.” Castiel admitted.

“Great!” Dean cheered. “Let’s go eat!”

“Um, should we close the door?” Castiel asked. “Oh wait, where are the keys?”

“Oh! I took both by mistake.” Dean pulled out a ring with four keys. “One is for the front door, and the other is for my room.” He slid them off deftly and handed them to Castiel.

Castiel trailed behind Sam and Dean as they made their way downstairs.

…

There was so much food. Dean piled everything on his plate. Sam was more conservative. Castiel ended up getting a sandwich. They found a table that was only half full, and sat down to eat. Castiel was felt self-conscious as he ate, afraid of embarrassing himself. Dean clearly had no such qualms. He devoured his burger and fries, a smudge of ketchup at the corner of his mouth that Castiel desperately wanted to wipe away. Then he started on his roast turkey with gravy and mashed potatoes (apparently everyday was Thanksgiving in the dining hall). Dean made fun of Sam’s salad with a scoop of tuna, and the apple he had picked up.

“Look at this health nut.” Dean teased, nudging Castiel.

Castiel laughed weakly. He supposed the contrast between the brother’s diets was amusing. “Apparently it doesn’t run in the family.” He quipped. Then he felt mortified.

But Dean laughed delightedly. “I know, right? It’s like we’re not even related.”

Sam laughed as well, and Castiel relaxed. Maybe this wasn’t that bad.

They finished eating and then Dean ran over to the soft-serve machine and got a swirl cone on the way out.

“Dean, you’re going to get so fat living here.” Sam commented as they went back upstairs.

“Nah, don’t worry, Sammy. I gotta keep in shape if I’m gonna score.” Dean replied, and then took a long lick of his ice cream. Castiel had to look away.

“Right.” Sam smirked.

“College chicks, man.” Dean said. And as if on cue, a beautiful blonde girl walked by them and smiled at Dean. Dean turned to watch her backside once she passed by. “Damn, she was hot. Right, Cas?” Dean admired, _sotto voce_.

“Uh, yeah.” Castiel agreed. _Well, he’s definitely straight_. Castiel found that he was disappointed, though he didn’t have a chance in hell with someone as gorgeous as Dean, even if he had been gay.

When they got back to the room, they started unpacking. Dean had brought a phone to plug into the landline, even though it was doubtful they would use it much. He plugged in his mini-fridge and started loading it up with soda from one of the boxes.

“Wow, you didn’t bring much stuff.” Dean observed, watching Castiel put his clothes into his dresser.

Castiel shrugged. “Seems you brought enough for both of us.” He noted dryly, and Dean and Sam bust out laughing. _Where was all this witty repartee coming from?_ Something about Dean brought it out of him.

“I heard there’s gonna be a huge freshman welcome party tonight down on frat row.” Dean mentioned casually. “You going, Cas?”

“Um…” Castiel hedged. A frat party was not his idea of fun.

“Aw, man. Wish I could come.” Sam pouted.

“No way, Sammy. Even if Mom and Dad weren’t gonna pick you up in a bit, I wouldn’t let you.” Dean shook his head. “You’re too young.”

Sam grumbled. “You were going to parties when you were my age.”

“That’s different.” Dean argued. “You’re not mature enough.”

Sam sighed. “More like, I’m not popular enough. I never get invited anyways.”

Castiel felt a pang for Sam. He had never been invited either.

Dean shrugged. “You’re not missing much.”

Sam seemed unconvinced, and Castiel shrugged as well as if to confirm what Dean had said. They continued to unpack; Castiel finished putting away his few belongings and then helped Dean and Sam. Castiel felt awkward going through Dean’s things, even though he was just putting them on the desk, but Dean didn’t seem to mind. Dean unpacked his TV and a Blu-ray player. Castiel wondered how much studying his roommate planned to do. He knew that Dean was here on a baseball scholarship, so he probably only needed to maintain a C average. Still, Castiel worried about Dean being distracting. Castiel supposed if that was the case he could just live in the library.

An hour later, Dean and Sam’s parents arrived, coming up to the room. Castiel shook hands with Mary and John; Mary was warm and welcoming, but John seemed standoffish, giving Castiel a suspicious look. After they left with Sam, Castiel sat down on his bed. He was already missing home. He wondered what his younger siblings, Samandriel and Anna were doing. Later they would be sitting down for the usual Sunday family dinner with their parents. Castiel thought about the roast chicken his mother usually made, and he felt hungry and homesick.

Dean left the door open and people stopped in to say hello. Castiel stayed on his side of the room and waved, but he wasn’t in the mood to socialize. Just spending time with Sam and Dean had been exhausting. He hoped that Dean would go out soon; not because he didn’t like him, but because preferred to be alone and he couldn’t quite relax with his roommate around. Dean mentioned plans for dinner with a couple of their floor mates, Castiel declined the invitation to join them. He would go down to the dining hall later.

When Dean finally left, Castiel sighed with relief.


	2. Chapter 2

That first night, Dean didn’t come back until well after midnight, smelling of beer and cigarettes. Castiel had been tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable in his new surroundings. Castiel heard Dean stumble around in the dark and then flop onto his bed, the mattress squeaking underneath his weight. A moment later, Dean was snoring. Castiel sighed quietly. It was going to be a long night.

The next morning, Dean was still sleeping when Castiel woke. He left the room quietly in his pajamas, bringing his little shower caddy with him and wearing a pair of flip flops. Castiel got into the shower, feeling self-conscious even though the bathroom was empty. He turned on the water, and slipping out of his clothes. At least the shower had decent water pressure and it was hot. Castiel finished washing and then cursed when he realized he had forgotten his towel. He ended up putting his clothes on wet. Once he got back to the room, he looked over to make sure Dean was still sleeping, and then he quickly toweled off and got changed.

Castiel decided to head down to breakfast, he didn’t know when Dean would be up and he was hungry. Today was commencement and then some freshman orientation activities. Tomorrow they would be meeting with their prospective departments – Castiel was looking into Biology, possibly pre-med, whereas Dean wasn’t sure but had decided he would check out Political Science. Castiel wondered how much of Dean he would see over the next couple of days. Classes started the day after.

…

It ended up that Castiel didn’t see much of Dean at all. Dean kept late hours, and seemed to be at a party every night. When Castiel got up in the morning, Dean was still sleeping. So he was surprised when he came back between his first couple classes (he had a long break before his afternoon classes and he felt like napping), and Dean was in the room. It looked like he had just woken up.

“Hey Cas.” Dean greeted sleepily. He had a baseball cap on backwards, a tuft of hair sticking out in the gap over the adjustable band. He stretched and Castiel couldn’t help noticing Dean’s hipbones when his shirt lifted over his low slung pajama pants and boxers.

“Hey Dean.” Castiel replied, looking away quickly. He put his bag on his desk, sighing with relief. He wouldn’t be making the mistake of lugging his textbooks to class next time.

“Did you have class already?” Dean asked. He sat down at his desk and booted up his laptop.

“Yup. I’ve already been to Bio 101 and Intro to Statistics.” Castiel also sat at his desk and pulled his laptop out of his bag. “I also have two more classes this afternoon. I’m exhausted.”

“Wow. I have one class today, Poly Sci 101. It’s not until after lunch. I’m planning to go to the dining hall with a few people from our floor. Wanna come?”

Castiel hesitated. He really didn’t do well in larger groups, but he did need to go to lunch, and he did want to spend time with Dean. “Um, sure. Sounds good.”

“Awesome. I’m gonna get a shower, then we can head down together.” Dean got up and grabbed his shower stuff.

Castiel nodded. He blew out a breath once Dean was out of the room. He had thought he was getting used to the fact that his roommate was gorgeous, but that was apparently only because he hadn’t seen his roommate at all the last couple of days. He was afraid that he was starting to develop a massive crush on Dean. He pulled his Biology book out of his bag and tried to start his reading, but he couldn’t focus on the words. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Dean was naked and wet just down the hall.

He must have dozed off on top of his book because the next thing he knew, Dean was back in the room, only wearing a towel. Castiel jerked awake at the sound of the door opening. Dean had his back to Castiel and had dropped his towel. Castiel made a choked sound and quickly turned around. He reached for his book, still looking away, so he could put on the pretense of reading. But he had already caught a glimpse of Dean’s perfect back and ass. Maybe Dean was used to changing in front of other people (he probably did it all the time in the locker room with his team mates), but Castiel was mortified. He hoped he wasn’t blushing.

“Ready to go?” Dean asked after a few minutes.

Castiel turned away from his book and was relieved to see Dean was fully dressed. “Um, yeah.” Castiel nodded.

They made their way down to the dining hall. Dean loaded his plate as usual. Castiel stood awkwardly waiting for Dean after he had swiped his meal card, and then followed him to a table that was half-full with vaguely familiar faces. Castiel reintroduced himself; no one could ever remember his name. Then he settled in to eat his meal, listening to the rest of the group chatter. He excused himself after he was finished, and went back up to the room.

He felt lonelier than ever. Dean was nice to him, but that was only because he was stuck living with him. The other people from their floor had ignored him after the introductions. In contrast, they hung on Dean’s every word. Castiel felt like he was back in high school, and Dean was one of the popular kids. Castiel unlocked the door to the room, and he noticed that Dean had left his laptop on. He couldn’t help but look at the screen. When he saw that Dean had been looking at porn on a site called ‘Busty Asian Beauties’, he blushed hard even though he was the only one in the room. He closed the laptop and sighed. Dean was definitely straight. As if the posters of the muscle cars and lingerie models on his side of the room hadn’t given it away. But Castiel couldn’t help his crush.

He wondered how he was going to survive freshman year.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel had come back to his room from the library to a sock on the door. It was inevitable this would happen, but still, Castiel wasn’t prepared for the feelings of jealousy that flooded him. Mostly, it was just inconvenient. Castiel had a big exam tomorrow, and the library had closed at midnight. He still had a lot to review, and he had planned on studying in his room. He sighed heavily and sat down on the floor against the wall outside the room. He tried not to listen but he heard Dean laughing and the sound of a distinctly female giggle responding. Then he heard the squeak of the bed frame springs. He had to get out of here. Castiel stood up and grabbed his bag. He’d have to study in the common area. It wasn’t ideal since there was a group gathered there watching TV together, but he had nowhere else to go.

…

An hour later, Castiel saw Dean walking a blonde girl down the hall. He winked at Castiel as he passed by him. Castiel gave him a tight smile. He was angry. He put his stuff back in his bag and went back in the room. It was hot and it stunk of sex. Not that Castiel knew what sex smelled like, but it couldn’t have been anything else. Dean had opened the window but the room was still stifling. Castiel had to leave the door open so it could air out. He caught a glimpse of a torn condom wrapper on the floor and he felt a surge of rage that he tried to tamp down. He didn’t want to acknowledge the pain in his heart that accompanied the anger.

“Hey dude.” Dean came sauntering in a little while later, a smug and satisfied smile on his face.

“Hi.” Castiel said shortly. He was reviewing his biology notes.

Dean sat down on his bed. “Man, that chick was wild.”

“Huh.” Castiel made a non-committal noise. He really didn’t want to hear this.

Dean looked over at Castiel. “You studying for a test?”

“Yup.” Castiel replied. He still didn’t look up from his notes.

“Hey man. You mad at me?” Dean asked.

“No.” Castiel answered.

“Yes, you are.” Dean countered. “C’mon roomy, what’s up?”

Castiel sighed. He scrubbed his face. “Look, Dean. I just want to finish studying and go to sleep. It’s almost two in the morning and my test is at 8 am. Just let me study.”

“I will, but I want you to tell me why you’re mad.” Dean said stubbornly.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Castiel was getting irritated. Dean shrugged. “I know, it’s your room too, and I get that you might have people you want to bring back to it sometimes. But I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that. And tonight I was planning to study in the room after the library closed, and instead I came back and found myself kicked out.”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry.” Dean said. He seemed genuinely contrite. “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

Castiel tried to act nonchalant. “It’s not a big deal. Just, I dunno, text me or something next time.”

“Ok.” Dean agreed. “But you have to let me know if it’s a problem. I don’t want us to have weird roommate issues. I mean, I feel lucky we got assigned to each other. I’ve heard so many stories about bad roommates from my friends. So I want things to stay copacetic between us.”

“Ok.” Castiel nodded. He had to suppress a smile at Dean’s use of ‘copacetic’. Who said that anymore? “Thanks.” He hestitated. “I guess, if maybe we could limit it to the weekends?”

“Sure, sure.” Dean said easily. “I’m sorry I messed up your studying.”

“It’s fine, Dean.” Castiel assured him. He felt a little better. But he still had a lot of stuff to review.

“Ok, I’ll let you study. Good roomy talk.” He smiled at Castiel.

Castiel smiled back and then looked down at his notes quickly. Dean was changing into his pajamas. That was one thing Castiel would never bring up; that he didn’t quite feel comfortable with Dean changing in front of him. There was no reason that Dean shouldn’t be able to do so.

Except for the fact that his roommate had a raging crush on him.


	4. Chapter 4

It was already the end of the semester. They were in the middle of dead week (the week before finals) and Castiel felt like he was living on the coffee and protein bars he brought with him to the library. He thought he saw Dean in the library one night during that week but he wasn’t sure. To be honest, he had barely seen Dean study all semester. Most of Dean’s classes seemed to only require a couple of papers, which he usually wrote the night before they were due in one fell swoop. Castiel was jealous of Dean’s relaxed schedule, in comparison with his load of science and math courses.

Every night Castiel fell into bed around 2:30 in the morning; the library opened until 2 AM during dead week. Dean was usually there, already asleep, although he had been missing a couple of nights, probably staying over at Lisa’s dorm. Lisa had been the second girl that Dean had brought back to their room, this time on a weekend like Castiel had requested. There had been other girls after that, but Lisa was the only repeat visitor. Dean clearly liked her more than the others, and Castiel had to admit that he also preferred her to Dean’s other conquests. She actually talked to him when they saw each other, versus the other girls who seemed oblivious to Castiel’s existence.

And then on Saturday night on the weekend before finals, Dean came home in the middle of the night, raging drunk. He somehow ended up Castiel’s side of the room and trying to climb into Castiel’s bed. Castiel had woke with a start and Dean fell off Castiel’s bed. He snapped on the small light by his bed and blinked at Dean.

“Dean?” Castiel croaked, his voice thick with sleep.

“Hey Cas…” Dean smiled. “I-“ Dean’s expression turned green and he just managed to grab the wastebasket before he vomited.

“Oh God!” Castiel was suddenly wide awake. He covered his nose and mouth. The smell made him feel nauseous.

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I didn’t-“ Dean apologized weakly before he was interrupted by another round of puke.

“Jesus! Can you make it to the bathroom?” Cas’ voice was muffled by his sleeve.

“I think so…” Dean nodded and got to his feet unsteadily.

Castiel felt like he should help him. So he got out of bed as well and grabbed Dean’s arm to steady him. Somehow they made it from the room to the bathroom without incident. When they reached the bathroom, Dean immediately vomited into the toilet. He draped himself over the bowl, babbling about hot girls and too much beer and how he thought he would pledge in the spring. Castiel nodded and humored Dean, hoping that he was done puking.

After ten minutes had passed without any more episodes. Dean was still out of it, of course, but at least he had emptied his stomach. Castiel offered a hand and pulled him up. When they got back to the room, Castiel made Dean drink some water. Dean’s clothes had been splattered with vomit and Castiel awkwardly helped him out of his clothes, trying not to stare too long at Dean’s body. Castiel got Dean to lie down and pulled the covers up.  Dean fell asleep immediately afterwards. Castiel felt a surge of protective affection, watching his roommate sleep.

…

Dean was still sleeping when Castiel left that morning and when he got back that night, Dean wasn’t there. Castiel felt disappointed. He had been hoping to see Dean. He felt like maybe they had more of a connection now that Castiel had helped him through a drunken episode. But maybe Dean was embarrassed, although Castiel doubted it. More likely Dean was just staying with Lisa again. He had only one final exam next week, the rest of his finals consisted of papers. Castiel found it hugely unfair, but such was the contrast between the sciences and liberal arts.

Castiel finally saw Dean the next day in the dining hall at lunchtime, eating by himself. When Castiel sat down at his table, Dean seemed happy to see him. He waited for Dean to thank him for helping him out the other night, but Dean didn’t bring it up. Castiel wondered if Dean even remembered what had happened. It had been pretty trashed, so it wouldn’t be that unusual. Dean had his backpack with him and mentioned going to the library. Castiel was also headed there, so after lunch they walked over together. Dean complaining about the three papers he had to write. They weren’t due until the end of the week but Dean was hoping to go home early. Meanwhile, Castiel would be here until the last possible minute. For some reason the Chemistry 101 exam was scheduled for the Friday 6-9 pm slot.

When they got to the library, Dean followed Castiel. Castiel went down to the lower level, heading toward his usual cubby. He hesitated when he noticed Dean looking lost. There weren’t any other cubbies free, but there was a table open. Castiel decided to sit there, and Dean plopped his stuff down across from him. This was a first; the two roommates had never studied together, not even in the room. Castiel got out his laptop and his notes and started to review them. But he kept getting distracted by Dean. Dean also had his laptop and notes out. He seemed to type in bursts, a look of intense concentration on his face. Every now and then he would sit back to read what he had written, running a hand through his hair and worrying his lip. He made little sounds of exasperation and then went back to typing. He pulled out a pen and circled a few things in his notebook and then started chewing on the pen. Castiel couldn’t help staring.

Dean didn’t last long in the library, and left after about an hour. Castiel was relieved and disappointed. He hadn’t studied a single bit while Dean was sitting there; at least not a single bit of Chemistry. 


	5. Chapter 5

Finals happened and Castiel survived. He wouldn’t find out how he did until the final grades were posted in a few weeks. He barely saw Dean during the remainder of hell week, and saw even less of him during finals week. It turned out that Dean left for winter break while Castiel was in the library cramming for his last exam. Castiel knew that Dean was leaving that day, but he still felt disappointed that he hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye. Not they wouldn’t be seeing each other again in about a month, but they had barely seen each other over the last couple of weeks. Then again, they had different classes, different friends and different ways of spending their free time. And Castiel knew that his roommate would never feel the same way he did about him, but that didn’t lessen Castiel’s crush on Dean.

Going home felt strange. Everything seemed smaller than Castiel had remembered. He found himself sleeping late and spending most of his time closeted in his room watching TV. Samandriel and Anna were still in school for another week before their winter vacation started. The truth was, he was bored at home. Some of his high school friends were back home on break, and they talked about getting together, but it didn’t happen. Castiel didn’t really mind; he had liked his friends well enough, but they had mostly hung out during school hours. He realized he hadn’t really missed them.

A few days later, his older brother Gabriel came home on break. As soon as he saw Castiel he started teasing him about his first semester away from home. Gabriel was already a senior in college and he acted like he knew everything, which infuriated Castiel. In a sense he did know more than Castiel; Gabriel was an extrovert, and had always been popular. He always bragged about how he had lost his virginity behind the bleachers at the high school when he was only fourteen. He wasn’t currently dating anyone but he had brought home girlfriends before. He kept pestering Castiel about his sex life, assuming that Castiel had already gotten laid sometime during the first semester. Finally Castiel just had to shut him up, with a snide comment about how he had been too busy studying for that, unlike some people who were in college. Gabriel relented, but then he started acting concerned because of Castiel’s touchy response.

“What’s going on, Cas?” Gabriel persisted.

“Nothing.” Castiel grumbled. “None of your business.”

“Aw, c’mon. I won’t laugh. I promise.” Gabriel said sincerely.

Castiel hesitated. Gabriel could be a big pain in the ass, but on occasion he was actually helpful. And Castiel was itching to tell someone about Dean.

“There’s this person…” Castiel began awkwardly.

Gabriel nodded to indicate he was listening.

“And I have a crush on him.” Castiel admitted. He blushed.

True to his word, Gabriel didn’t laugh. “So, what’s the big deal? Let me guess, you haven’t told him.”

“I can’t.” Castiel mumbled. Before Gabriel could protest again, Castiel added, “He’s my roommate.”

Gabriel struggled not to crack a smile. “Wow. Ok.”

“Yeah.” Castiel agreed. “Also, he’s totally straight. And, unlike myself, he does have time for extracurricular activities. In fact, I’ve been locked out of my room before.”

“That just sucks.” Gabriel sympathized. “I’m sorry, little bro. No chance he’s bi?”

“Doubtful.” Castiel shook his head.

“Everyone’s a little gay.” Gabriel quipped. “You never know…”

“Yeah, but it’s not like if I confess my feelings we can just walk away afterwards. We live together.” Castiel sighed.

“Yeah but imagine how awesome it would be if he did feel the same way…” Gabriel raised his eyebrows. He didn’t continue when Castiel glared at him. Gabriel shrugged. “Well, what’s worse? Telling him and having it not work out – worst case scenario you get a new roommate. The alternative is not telling him and never knowing if there was a possibility.”

“It’s not that easy.” Castiel argued. “I don’t want him to be disgusted, or to hate me. I don’t have many friends in school, and I consider Dean to be one of them.”

Gabriel shrugged again. “Ok, suit yourself. I wonder how huge your crush actually is.” Gabriel laughed at his own double entendre.

“Shut up, Gabe.” Castiel grumbled.

They didn’t talk about it again after that time, but Castiel couldn’t stop thinking about Dean, and what he should do about his feelings. He figured he’d just see how he felt when he got back to school. Being at home tempered his emotions; he was starting to feel like it had just been a temporary infatuation.  


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel arrived at the dorm first. He unpacked his stuff and lay down on the bed. It was weird being back; college and home felt like two completely separate worlds. He was starting to doze off (he had been taking naps in the afternoon at home) when Dean barged in the door. Castiel hastily sat up when Dean greeted him.

“Hey roomy!” Dean chirped. “Did you have a good break?”

“Hey Dean.” Castiel said, smoothing his hair and trying not to be too flustered. “Yeah, how about you?”

“It was awesome.” Dean replied. He tossed a small bag that was tied with ribbon at Castiel, who caught it clumsily. “Merry Christmas.”

“Oh.” Castiel hadn’t brought anything for Dean. He didn’t think of it at all. He untied the bag to reveal a sack of candied nuts. “Thank you, Dean. I didn’t bring you anything…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean dismissed. “I’ll probably eat most of them anyways. I’m addicted to those things and I already finished mine.”

Castiel smiled. “You’re welcome to as many as you want.”

Dean grinned in response. Castiel turned away so Dean wouldn’t see him blush. He had been wrong about the time apart lessening his feelings for Dean. Instead, Castiel’s crush was intensifying. He had forgotten how beautiful Dean was in person.

…

Castiel figured he wouldn’t see too much of Dean this semester either. But it ended up that Dean spent more time in the room than ever. His grades hadn’t been that great, and he needed to bring his GPA back up. Spring training would be starting up soon, so between baseball and studying he wouldn’t have much time to party. Castiel was pleased that Dean would be around more, although it did nothing to help his situation. He also learned that Dean and Lisa had broken up at the beginning of the semester. Apparently she had found out that Dean had hooked up with one of her friends. She had also been under the impression that she and Dean were exclusive, even though Dean said they had never explicitly talked about it.

In any case, Dean seemed sincere in his efforts to improve his studying habits; without the distraction of parties and hookups, he seemed to be achieving his goal. He did go to a couple of parties at the beginning of the semester, but then admitted they were kind of boring. He seemed to have lost interest in pledging. Castiel rejoiced privately. Even if they never became more than just friends and roommates, it was wonderful to spend so much time with Dean. Castiel liked to think they were becoming good friends.

Dean still went out with his other friends, but he was home more often than not, even on the weekends. He hadn’t brought any girls home yet this semester, and Castiel found himself getting his hopes up. Dean and Castiel had been watching a lot of TV together lately, and they often sat on Dean’s bed together, their legs touching and their hands bumping as they shared a bag of popcorn. They had even gone to see a couple of movies together, and out for dinner. Just as friends of course.

Castiel was cautiously happy about their growing friendship. But he knew people didn’t change overnight, and he wondered when Dean would fall back on his old ways.


	7. Chapter 7

It ended up happening shortly after Dean had started baseball season. His excuse was that he needed to hang out with his teammates, to build camaraderie that would translate into better performance on the field, but Castiel found himself feeling jealous and neglected. Dean would come home drunk and fall into a deep sleep immediately. He was still around on the weekdays but Castiel missed their weekends together. They hadn’t had a Netflix binge watching session for weeks. Castiel resigned himself to the idea that Dean preferred to hang out with other people.

It was another Saturday night and Castiel resigned himself to being alone again. He was watching TV, sitting in Dean’s bed. When Dean burst into the room around ten o’clock, Castiel was startled. Dean was carrying a paper bag, which he set it down on his desk, and Castiel heard the sound of bottles clinking together.

“Hey Cas.” Dean said. He seemed a bit unsteady on his feet. Castiel wondered if he was drunk. Dean pulled a bottle out of the bag.

“Hey Dean.” Castiel replied, watching his roommate warily. “I thought you’d be out until late.”

Dean shrugged. “I had dinner but then I didn’t feel like going out after.”

“Ok.” Castiel said. He saw that Dean held a bottle of Jagermeister. Dean took a swig of the bottle and then offered it to Castiel. Castiel shook his head. “No thanks.”

“C’mon, Cas.” Dean drawled. “You never party, you never bring chicks back to the room. All you do is study.”

Dean was definitely drunk already. He wouldn’t be saying those things to Castiel otherwise. Castiel heard the mockery in Dean’s voice and felt hurt. He knew he was a nerd, but Dean had never ever made fun of him for it; he had proved Castiel’s fears about Dean being another obnoxious jock to be wrong.

“Dean.” Castiel kept his voice neutral. “You know I don’t drink.”

Dean sat down on the bed next to Castiel and offered the bottle again. Castiel shook his head and to his relief, Dean relented. Dean took another swig though, and Castiel could smell the bitter alcohol on his breath. Dean put the bottle on the floor.

“Ok, so you don’t drink.” Dean said, his face inches from Castiel’s. “What about hooking up? You’ve never brought anyone back to the room.”

Castiel blushed. He stammered. “I-I um…”

“Oh, don’t tell me.” Dean slurred. “I guessed when we first met.”

Castiel felt a stab of panic. He waited for Dean to tell him how disgusted he was and how he was going request a new roommate. He didn’t think Dean would hurt him, but then again, the topic had never come up before. He didn’t expect what happened next.

Dean narrowed his eyes at Castiel, and then leaned in and kissed him. Castiel gasped against Dean’s lips, completely shocked as Dean covered his mouth with his own. He could taste the liquor; it was like licorice flavored cough syrup, and he wanted to pull away. But then Dean was pressing his tongue into Castiel’s mouth and Castiel could taste Dean under the bitter alcohol. He realized he was holding his breath, and he hadn’t moved. He should be stopping this; Dean was drunk. Castiel managed to push at Dean’s chest weakly. To his relief, Dean sat up and managed to look mortified.

“Oh my God.” Dean moaned. “I’m so sorry, Cas.” He let out a sob and then put his head in his hands, looking down and resting his elbows on his thighs.

Castiel felt confused. There were so many thoughts running through his head right now. Why had Dean kissed him? Did he like Cas? Was he bi? Was he just curious? Was he just so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing? Dean wouldn’t look at him. Castiel touched Dean’s back lightly and Dean jerked up. “It’s ok, Dean.” Castiel said uncertainly. He had never seen Dean this upset.

“No, it’s not.” Dean shook his head. “I shouldn’t have just assumed…assumed that you wanted me too. I’m-I’m not used to rejection, I guess.” Dean scoffed self-deprecatingly.

It took Castiel a moment to process Dean’s words. “What?” Castiel said incredulously. _Dean wants me?_ “You think that I don’t want you?” Castiel started laughing at the hilarity of the situation.

Dean looked offended. “It’s not a joke, Cas.” He groused.

Castiel tried to quiet his laughter. He just couldn’t believe it. “I had no idea. No idea you felt this way, Dean.” He hiccupped as he pushed down the urge to laugh. He took a breath and faced Dean. “What about all the girls? What about Lisa?” Castiel asked softly.

Dean shrugged. “They’re nice.” He gazed at Castiel intently. “But they’re not you.”

Castiel blushed under Dean’s searing scrutiny. “Why me?” He said quietly. “I’m nothing special, I’m just-“

Dean cut Castiel’s words off with a kiss. This time, Castiel responded. He softened against Dean’s mouth, putting his hands on Dean’s arms and feeling the hard muscle under Dean’s flannel shirt. Dean was reaching a hand around Castiel’s back to pull him closer. Castiel sighed against Dean’s lips. They continued to kiss softly, even as Castiel gripped Dean’s arms harder and Dean put on the back of Castiel’s head, tugging lightly on his hair. Castiel pulled away after a moment. Dean looked a question at him.

“Dean.” Castiel grabbed one of Dean’s hands impulsively. He needed to know Dean’s intentions.   
“I don’t want to be your college experiment.”

Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand and shook his head. “You’re not.”

Castiel managed a weak smile. He had been hoping for more conviction from Dean. But maybe he should just enjoy this moment and not worry about what came after. He had wanted Dean from the first day, hadn’t he? But Castiel was never one to give away his heart or body away lightly.

“I really like you, Dean.” Castiel said. “But I need to know that this is as real for you as it is for me.”

“It’s more real than anything I’ve felt before.” Dean replied seriously. He reached for Castiel’s other hand so both of their hands were joined.

Castiel took a deep breath. There were so many possible complications.

When Dean kissed him again, he couldn’t think of a single one.


End file.
